There is no good reason for you to be alone.
There IS a reason, absolutely. For instance, sitting on your butt on the couch watching netflix is a reason. Whether it's a good one, I don't know.
"There are so many submissives, and all the Doms I meet are only after my money" is not a reason, it is an excuse.
The same goes for "How will I ever be able to find someone who accepts my pantyhose kink"?
I am not saying that these excuses are not true. It IS challenging to find a kinky partner. I am just here to tell you that there is a way that you can turn the tables. Yep. There is something you can do. A LOT of things, even!
7 Things to do to find a kinky partner
Clarity
- Get clarity on what you want. If you don't know what you want, how will you be able to find it? It's like being in the train station and taking a train without knowing where you want to go. There IS a chance that you'll end up in the right place, but not a very big one.
- Get clarity on who you are. If you know what you have to offer, it's a lot easier to find a kinky partner.
- Match "who you are", with "who you want to be". Be honest and have a look- are you a person your ideal match would date? If not- start working on it. Go to a hair dresser. Buy a new outfit. Work on your posture. Go to the gym. Stop drinking. Anything that will make you feel better, and more confident.
Putting yourself out there.
- If nobody knows who you are, nobody will find you interesting, nobody will even FIND you:) Go out there. Meet friends. Go to social places. If you work at home, find a co-working space. There are even online network drinks nowadays! Meet with colleagues, friends, do social stuff. Remember the time when you used to have hobbies, and find a place where likeminded people meet. Engage in seminars, workshops, festivals. Nowadays there are so many online things! It doesn't have to be kinky places! There is a whole world with interesting people waiting for you.
- Be open. I know you may have gotten hurt before. Maybe people have used you, or abandoned you. But keep on believing that everyone out there is only there to hurt you, will never get you close to someone- because YOU are the one keeping them on a distance.
- Be positive, and dare to fail. You can ask someone, and they can say NO. That is totally fine. You can also say no. You are looking for that special person. On the other hand- be positive. If that new person attracts you but 2 of the items of your huge list of "must haves" are not in place, give it a chance. Narrow down your list of must haves to your core values and compare them to that list. Nobody is perfect.
Be Patient.
I don't know your age now, but I met my Master when I was 39. It means that 39 years of my life I didn't know him. AND THAT IS OK. There is NO need to rush, even if you're 80 years old. Be patient, be interested instead of interesting, and give life space to let you meet your soulmate.
Still freaking out?
I know. Dating is freaking scary business! I created a fantastic program, on finding a kinky partner. I will help you find out why you are such an amazing being, and what is important for you. You will also get practical tips on how to write an amazing dating profile, and, if you decide before Monday, you will a really cool bonus: I will give you personal feedback on your dating profile! How's that?? Check here what one of the participants sent me a few weeks later as feedback:
in less than a week I now am talking with 2 possible subs
Mark m - student
Thank you so much for the class I'm learning so very much. About 2 weeks before I signed up for your help I got on fetlife and I read what other people were putting on there profiles I kept my short and to the point and I started to search in less than a week I now am talking with 2 possible subs and I have been using all the things I've learned so far from you and Sam your advice is spot on. I'll be here to keep learning how to be a better Dom and person. Thank you very much and I'm looking forward to keep exploring and learning from you Sincerely."
What is holding you back from finding your kinky partner?
Let me know in the comment box below- not just for you, as a first step in acknowledging it, but also in showing the other readers that they are not alone... Thanks a million! You are brave and courageous.
